Wedding Etiquette

Cultural backgrounds and individual convictions heavily influence the decision making in Wedding Etiquette. Responsibilities of the wedding party to the financial obligations of paying for your wedding are included here to help you make decisions based on tradition. Just remember that this is a guide to assist you, nothing is set in stone.

"Who pays for what?" is probably the question I hear most often. Other issues are responsibilities of the wedding usher, best man, the maid of honor, the bridesmaids, the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom

Then there are other situations:

Inviting Children

Do you plan to invite children to your wedding? Make your decision and stick to it! Be careful to address your invitations so that your decision is clearly understood. This is an area of wedding etiquette that comes up often and shouldn't be overlooked!

Children over 18 who are invited to the wedding should receive their own invitations whether or not they live with their parents. If you don’t send them an invitation it’s clear that they’re not invited.

Children under 18 who are invited to the wedding should have their name included on the invitation. If you’re inviting John and Mary Jones without their two little ones, their invitation should read “John and Mary Jones.”

If you’re still worried that some guests may write in extras on their reply card, print the names of those invited on the reply card as well.

Gift Etiquette

Weddings are a popular gift-giving occasion. Friends and loved ones shower the newly engaged couple with gifts. Just remember to always feel privileged, not entitled, when receiving gifts.

Here is some useful wedding gift etiquette:

• Do not print registry information on the invitation

• Publicize your registry information by word of mouth only

• Don’t request cash gifts; your friends or family members can inform guests of your preferences if asked

• Return all gifts, even shower and engagement gifts, if the wedding is called off

• Respond to each gift with a personal hand-written thank you note within two weeks of receiving the gift or within 2 weeks of returning from your honeymoon

• There is no set amount a guest should spend on a wedding or shower gift

Introducing Parents

If the bride and groom’s parents have not met prior to the engagement, tradition dictates that the groom’s family calls and introduces themselves to the bride’s family and arranges a meeting. If the groom’s parents do not make the first introduction, then the bride’s parents should. Nowadays, who makes the first call is irrelevant; all that really matters is that the parents meet. If meeting in person is not possible, a letter or phone call is acceptable.

Introducing Divorced Parents

If the groom’s parents are divorced, the parent with the closest relationship to the groom should take the first step in meeting the bride’s parents. If both the bride and groom’s parents are divorced, the parent closest to the groom should first contact the bride’s suggested parent. If no one begins the introduction process, the couple should step in and ensure that everyone meets in order to prevent an awkward situation.

Share this guide of wedding etiquette with your families and other engaged friends. It could prove to be invaluable later on by preventing heartache and hurt feelings between your families!

Wedding Expenses

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